Ryuji Sakamoto: Water Tycoon
by Amber the Placenta
Summary: Ryuji has vast aspirations of becoming the world's richest soft drink brand.
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere, riding upon the plane of dreams, a teenager named Butt Face glared down upon the meat piles of Shibuya. He was tired of their faces, so he summoned his mask from the Anal Dimension to punish them for having legs.

But his assault was interrupted by Ryuji Sakamoto, who was half dragon on his father's side and didn't actually have feet, there were only chainsaws. Ryuji hopped into Sayuri, taking him back to the past, when his mother was giving birth to him. He stole his own placenta from his past self, with which he would form a Water of Rebirth monopoly, because he was smart like that. But his placenta developed a mind of its own, which became distorted and formed a Palace which was a giant womb with dinosaurs for Shadows!

"OBJECTION! IT IS NOT CALLED A PALACE, IT IS DIMENSION ANUS IN THE METAVERSE'S PALACE!" Butt Face was livid. He turned into an actual joker card, which made Madarame cry and literally scared Munehisa Iwai out of his pants. No, for real, his pants flew right off and ran off into the placenta's Dimension Anus. Iwai was wearing frilly lingerie. Ann stole his thong, wore it, then sold it to Morgana who humps it with his spiky cat dong all through the late night.

Morgana entered Dimension Anus with Ryuji, who wanted to steal his placenta's Treasure so he could corner the Water of Rebirth market and rule over it with an amniotic fist. But the panties got stolen by a dinosaur. Butt Face ripped the dinosaur's skull face off, revealing its true form which was an angry placenta demon. These demons were all Ryuji's siblings, and they were gifted businessmen and women.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Morgana was humping the panties in a safe room along the vaginal wall, but Ryuji ruined it for him by pointing out a sweaty cockstain. Furious, Morgana turned into a bus then ran Ryuji over, but this pissed off Dimension Anus itself, because it was Ryuji's mom.

With the security level through the roof, the party had to pull out for the day.

Ryuji went home and brought Ann with him. Together, they hatched a master plan: they would breed like rabbits and use the placentas from their spawn to overwhelm the Water of Rebirth market and, in time, establish an unshakeable monopoly.

Ryuji had just finished jizzing in Ann when Morgana walked in. Furious, he dickslapped Ryuji, giving him lacerations from the cock spines. Morgana crawled up Ann's vagina, where he banished all of Ryuji's sperm to a dimension that was neither real not meta, then set up a living space in there, cockblocking their master plan.

Munehisa Iwai kicked down the door to the house. He was enraged because he wanted his sweaty, jizz-stained panties back. It was for naught, because Morgana left the sexy underpants in Dimension Anus, where they were now the Treasure of Ryuji's placenta, and shredded beyond recognition by Morgana's dick teeth.

"Get out of my pussy, pussy!" Ann roared as she queefed fire to launch Morgana from her vagina. He shot out at the speed of a bullet and tore right through Iwai's chest.

Iwai ate a model Ingram Mac-10, which healed the catshot wound saved him from death. But Morgana stole his heart, which he ran off with and sold to Takemi for use in an experimental immortality elixir.

Without a heart, Munehisa Iwai turned into a model Lamborghini made of motorcycles with chainsaws for engines. Morgana felt threatened, as he was no longer the only person in this joint who could turn into a vehicle, so he scratched up Iwai's paint job. Iwai revved his model engine ferociously then ran the pussy over, avenging Ryuji which made everyone's phalluses bigger for an hour.

Ann meowed as she gagged Iwai with her now huge clit, which was pretty much a pseudo-penis at this point. Yusuke's repressed fetish was futas, so he begged Ann to strip naked then buttbang him, but Ryuji wasn't having it so he scored a critical hit against Yusuke with his dong, which was now bigger than a war hammer.

Ryuji sent his butt, James Butt, on a secret mission. He sneaked into a church, where he spied on women with his golden brown eye. James Butt seduced all the women and even the priest, and they polluted the righteous atmosphere of the holy room with the nastiest, most sinful bisexual orgy ever known to religion.

James Butt returned and reattached to Ryuji, but with Ryuji's cognition taking back over, his ass hurt in a bad way now because of the priest. He sued the priest for sexual ass-ault, and with James Butt back in disguise, the court did not believe the priest's defense so he was sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.

All the prisoners had secret agent butts too. The butts were the true rules of the prison, which was not truly a prison but a hideout for bad guys. The priest quickly befriended every butt in the penitentiary, forming a gay harem of butts, including the warden's.

The priest sat upon his cellblock's throne, accompanied by the firm, athletic buttocks of Kamoshida, the shriveled, liver-spotted cheeks of Madarame, and the pudgy, creamy tush of Kaneshiro. He caressed his suitors as he plotted Ryuji's ruin.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryuji sent James Butt into Dimension Anus to steal the nasty man panties from Shadow Placenta. Yusuke accompanied him, because he had just come to terms with his Oedipus complex and was over hyena women. Yusuke and James Butt were going to seduce Dimension Anus itself then make off with the panties while Shadow Placenta was distracted.

But Yusuke was too distracted by the intricate, maternal beauty of the uterine lining's elaborate panorama of blood vessels. He climbed up an artery then proceeded to hump the uterine wall while calling it mommy.

James Butt sighed. He was on his own now, it seemed.  
He traversed through Dimension Anus, avoiding shadows along the way, until he hit a roadblock. It was a barrier leading into the left fallopian tube. It was guarded by an elite Shadow.

The Shadow revealed its true form, which was a sperm naga with giant titties with sperm flagella for nipples. Yusuke caught a glimpse of it. His boner shriveled up and died.

Revolted, Yusuke withdrew his paintbrush from his dickhole then scribbled a vagina upon the jizz snake's face. The persona tried to fuck its own face, becoming Whorobuoros. Yusuke dickslapped Whorobuoros then dispatched it by cracking it across the head with the cum-stained Sayuri, which Yusuke carried around in his butthole everywhere he went.

Yusuke was dissatisfied with only being able to jack off to his mom in a cafe, so he became half Sim, bestowing upon him infinite butt storage capacity. He can now fap on the painting in the middle of Central Street in broad daylight if he so desires, but the hybridization came at a price: Yusuke can now only speak Simlish.

"Arr! Nitty potar! SCHDOON!" he shouted at the fallopian gate because it was annoying.

Yusuke realized that the only way to pass this barrier was to fuck mom in reality.

Yusuke left Dimension Anus. He commenced fervent research on how to resurrect his mom.


	4. Chapter 4

Yusuke and Futaba collaborated on the necromancy research, for Futaba had a daddy kink, and wanted to make her daddy happy again. Together, they conspired to celebrate their future success with an incestuous orgy.

Futaba went to the bathroom. She was constipated, so it would be a while. Yusuke, bored, beat off on her Power Rangers while thinking about Sayuri.

Futaba returned to her room. She kicked Yusuke out, for privacy, then used the Power Rangers as dildos.

When she finished, she let Yusuke back in. They resumed their research.

Weeks flew by, and Futaba fell ill. Yusuke called Takemi to look at her.

Futaba couldn't believe she was pregnant!

"BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBRU!" she roared.

Yusuke shook his head. "No, it's not. I came on your action figures. I am your child's father."

"WHY DID YOU CUM ON MY POWER RANGERS?! I WASN'T READY TO BE A MOM, INARI!"

When Yusuke heard her say "mom" reflexively, his eyes lit up. "Mom...you'll be a mom..." Yusuke fell in love with her at that moment.

At the same time, the same realization hit Futaba. "And you...you'll be...daddyy...~" Futaba returned Yusuke's affection.

Futaba and Yusuke hatched a new plan. They would breed faster than Ryuji and Ann, countering their Water of Rebirth empire with their offsprings' superior placentas. They would breed faster, because unlike Ann and Ryuji, who are merely business partners, they fueled each other's kinks like yin and yang on red bull.

Amidst their scheming and fiery lovemaking, however, they forgot something important. Yusuke has to fuck his actual mom to unlock the gate to the left ovary in Dimension Anus.


	5. Chapter 5

Yusuke was having second thoughts about the plan, because he was over his Oedipus complex and was into crustaceans now. Yusuke's fetishes change with the lunar cycle.

"But Yusuke, you still have to bring your mom back and fuck her to open that door in Dimension Anus."

Yusuke pouted. "But I don't want to fuck my mom anymore. I wanna fuck a lobster."

"What if your mom was a lobster?"

"But lobsters spawn in water, and I'm a great ape. That's impossible."

Morgana overheard the conversation and he got so offended his face exploded. "It is not impossible! Maybe, somewhere out there, a mutant lobster with a uterus gave birth to you."

Yusuke shook his head. "But how would a lobster paint the awe inspiring beauty of Sayuri, with inflexible pincers?"

Morgana stomped his feet. He was hungry for tuna. "What if Sayuri depict your adoptive mother?"

Yusuke's mind was blown, as there was a possibility.

Yusuke dove into the ocean. He searched fervently, and sure enough, met a lobster with boobs and curvy hips that seemed to recognize him.

",,,Mom?"

The lobster nodded.

Yusuke picked her up, took her out of the ocean, then fucked her.

She was, indeed, a mutant lobster with a uterus. She got pregnant with an inbred child. The door to the left ovary opened in Dimension Anus.


	6. Chapter 6

Futaba wanted to eat the lobster placenta of Yusuke's brotherson, but Yusuke wouldn't let her because he was confounded by its beauty. The vessels which provide limitless fuel to a new life, the complex immunological shutdown on par with lifetime parasites, the structure mesmerized Yusuke with how advanced and advantageous it was.

While Yusuke was sketching his brotherson's placenta, Futaba stole it and sold it to Ryuji in exchange for a dildo cast from a Red Ranger actor's dick. She returned home then slapped Yusuke with it, snapping him out of his artistic reverie.

"But Futaba, I'm into moms and lobsters now. What about our plan?"

"Don't care. Changed my mind."

Futaba put the dildo in her pants, then went to Dimension Anus. There, it morphed into an actual dick, because she perceived it as a real dick and you can't spell Futaba without futa.

Futa-ba infiltrated the left ovary. There, she encountered James Butt, who beat her to all the chests.

James Butt bit Futa-ba's dick off then used it as bait to attract Shadow Placenta.

Futaba and James Butt defeated the shadow then stole the panties. They returned to the real world, then gave the now dejected placenta to Ryuji.

Ryuji's evil plan of ruling the Water of Rebirth market was at last back on track. But the priest wanted revenge, and his butt harem teamed up with Butt Face in exchange for some free sex with female butt sluts. Together, the syndicate worked to taint Ryuji's product, earning him scathing reviews.

The only way to save his business was to steal the priest's heart.


	7. Chapter 7

tae spanked futaba's booty and then sniffed her crotch all night long the end


	8. Chapter 8

On top of Butt Face and the priest's sabotage, Ryuji had to compete with the Medjed-Inari Company's man-cheese and man-naise as well.

Futaba and Yusuke made man-cheese with Futaba's titty milk. She was pregnant enough to start lactation. To coagulate Futaba's milk, they had their stomachs pumped for pepsin, then slathered the resulting coagulation with Yusuke's jizz, which they aged within socks to give the cheese a crunchy, salty skin. Man-cheese became the most popular snack in all of Japan.

Man-naise was made with amniotic fluid extracted from Futaba via syringe, which was then whipped with Yusuke's stomach acids and jizz to form the perfect condiment. Man-naise and man-cheese were a beloved combination on grilled sandwiches, which were served with an ice cold glass of Medjec-Inari brand placenta water.

Futaba and Yusuke got an idea for a new product which would be canned fetus meat, to complete their line of sandwich and beverage products. They would call it man-spam.

But their abortion equipment got stolen by Ryuji, who infringed upon their idea and seized the man-spam recipe, which he and Ann started production on. Yusuke and Futaba forgot their own recipe because they got distracted by a nude painting of the Pink Ranger for 7 years.

Their gaze was broken when their daughter ate the painting because she had eaten all the food in Shibuya due to their almost 7 years of neglect, and the painting was the last remaining food. The painting was made with edible materials. No one knows why, because the artist was a Dimension Anus user who entered his own Palace to fuck his Shadow clone (it's not gay it's masturbation). He and his Shadow got so kinky, he shoved an entire horse up his Shadow self's ass, killing him and causing himself to die of a mental shutdown within his own Palace.

Yusuke and Futaba disowned their offspring for ruining the finest art of all.

With nowhere to go, she wound up at Ann and Ryuji's place. They were going to make man-veal out of her and process her stomach for man-cheese pepsin, to compete with Medjed-Inari, but she was saved by the butt army and adopted by Butt Face, whose name was now Dick Dick because the arcana have shifted, and Priest, who vowed to keep her safe. Dick Dick and Priest became a couple.

Dick Dick and Priest named their adoptive daughter Tooter. Priest used to be Sojiro Sakura, but he lost his memories after a one night stand with Yaldabaoth disguised as Masayoshi Shido in drag role playing as a sissy, so he became a booty lord, then became a priest and, because he forgot his true name, he's known only as Priest now.

Priest forgot his name because he awoke from his fling in the depths of Mementos. There, he took a flaming curry diarrhea shit so horrendous it was alive, and from that effervescent shitpuddle he inadvertently gave birth to Morgana. Morgana became Igor's problem, because Priest's shitting spot happened to be his doorstep.

Priest swore vengeance upon his former daughter, that bitch-ass Yusuke, and that foul couple Ann and Ryuji, for taking their offspring for granted. He banished them all to Mementos, where they met the Reaper.

The Reaper was feeling depressed. Ryuji comforted it.

"What's wrong, man?"

The Reaper sighed. "I'll never find love because I'm just a big douche."

Ryuji felt a little closer to the Reaper.

Ryuji's Reaper confidant rank jumped straight to Rank 9, because the Reaper is that lonely. The Reaper, trusting Ryuji with its true appearance, took off its cape.

The Reaper was a woman.

"I just feel like...no one will ever love a rude skull face like me, you know?" she bore her soul to Ryuji.

Ryuji, for the first time in his life, chose his words carefully.

"...I love you."

The reaper was stunned. She requited Ryuji's affection, and they fell deeply, inseparably in love.

The Reaper followed Ryuji back into the real world. he took her home with him, where he made love to her in his mom's bed while she was making dinner.

The front door to Ryuji's house got kicked in. It was Dick Dick.

"RYUJI, I AM THE PUSSY DESTROYER AND YOU ARE THE ETERNAL VIRGIN. HOW DARE YOU GET A PUSSY, LET ALONE ONE I CANNOT!"

Dick Dick charged at Ryuji with his dagger ready to kill, but he was stopped by Yusuke who heard the rumors of Ryuji's reaperfucking shenanigans.

"No, I must be the one to kill Ryuji and steal his girl. I am the one who is half Sim, after all. It is only fitting that I should be the one to mate with the Reaper."

While Yusuke and Dick Dick were fighting, Ryuji and the Reaper ran away to Hawaii, where they eloped. They set up a permanent residence in Hawaii's Mementos, where they raised a family. Between their family and all the miscarriages the Reaper cleaned up on her day job, they were the destined duo to take over the Water of Rebirth market once and for all.

Meanwhile, Ann was livid because Ryuji dumped her and, to soothe the pain, she binged on cake and got super fat. However, Ann's rolls gave her a tactical advantage over the competition because she could store babies between them like a hangar for brats.

Dick Dick was hungry. He sighed as he made a man-spam and man-cheese sandwich with man-naise.

He hated it, but it was all that was being produced since Tooter ate the rest. Futaba and Yusuke now held the ultimate food monopoly.


End file.
